ADKO

turt12

2 min read

Tom Turtle recounts a challenging and surreal nine-hole round of golf. His game has improved significantly, eliminating the need for pre-game hypnosis or post-game acupuncture and Jarritos transfusions. He describes a course designed collaboratively by renowned architects, each contributing a unique, torturous hole. Tom details his experiences on the first three holes, designed by Tom Watson, Pete Dye, and Jack Nicklaus, which involve extreme elevation changes, unusual fairway conditions, and persistent, disruptive cats. He encounters an eccentric cart girl who provides increasingly bizarre refreshments and attire with each hole. Tom’s descriptions are filled with hyperbole and humorous anecdotes, including his struggles with the course’s design and the distractions from cats and the cart girl. The narrative continues through the fourth hole by George Fazio, where a clever design forces difficult shot choices, and he accidentally hits his playing partner, Randy, with his ball. After a sugar-fueled haze through holes five to seven, Tom describes the surreal eighth hole by Robert Trent Jones, Jr., a circular design that brings players back to the start. The round concludes with the ninth hole designed by Johnny Miller, featuring piped-in commentary from Miller and his friends, and a challenging fairway obstructed by massive trees. Despite the absurdities, Tom ends the round by taking the cart girl to the 19th hole and ordering drinks for his entourage, much to the chagrin of Johnny Miller and his companions.

Subjects, Names, References, Locations, Companies, etc.:

Graph View